A kid .. or more?

my boys at lata rex (a relaxing moment)

A kiddo

Yes. I know. I have been neglected my writing since so long. I was down under, living underground of my soul. I was helpless. I was everything but good. I was working like hell, I was happy ungratefully and I was day-dreaming everyday. And not to forget, I was clueless yet done so much of the thinking, sometimes I feel like going nuts.

Back to reality, I am much of an unfriendly type of person, and you will know this only after you knew me for quite some times. I reject people from coming into my life, I don’t know why. People seemed to ignore me once they knew me well enough. May be I am not so much of an interesting person what so ever. Anyhow, I cannot satisfy everybody and I live not for them for sure. I have my own life, my family, The God and also my trust circle.

After I was shocked by the Mr.Em case, I cannot even be close to him no more. Not that he knew of but the me inside me built up something hurtful against him. Not his fault and not anybody’s fault. I am just too hurt that I cannot explain the reason I felt that way. Enough about the Em. He is history, and obviously not a legend. Trust me, he is not. (I don’t think I would remember the cause of this if I read this again next 2 years, haha)

Anyway, the title, A kiddo, is what comes to me into writing. Actually, I was into my pupils. They are so adorable and I am a new teacher. Sometimes, I imagined that they are my friends. And we understand each other. I forgot about the gap since they are just like sisters and brothers. We siblings were more of close friends from being fussy siblings. We live in each others’ shoes.

Them. The pupils. They ease my loneliness of my so far friends. At school, I was quite famous among the year 6 pupils. They sometimes followed me wherever I go. They greeted me with smiles and heart warming remarks. They made jokes for me, they craved for my attention. They loved being close to me and even asked me stupid questions. It was like, so good for me to get so much attention. It is like a celebrity teacher. Haha. Can you imagine how a new teacher should cope with this popularity? I don’t cope, but getting worst. I somehow craved for attention. More and more. Sound stupid? That’s me. Haha. Okay okayy

The kiddo. I was fond of 2 particular pupils. They were 2 good friends, with great character and personality. (I may sound like a pervert here, but I don’t care). They reminded me of my school years. They were famous and good-looking. They were respected by all their friends and they won so many teachers’ hearts. If I were the girls, I will go weak-knees upon talking to them. Believe me, I will. My school years were still fresh in my memory and I had a crush on the Head Prefect. Ohhh nooo!! They were both head of prefect and head of librarian respectively. No wonder I fall for them. The character and personality and also the teachers’ trust made my heart melt for sure.

Damn! No wonder I felt so pervert myself! How stupid!

(This happen because I am single and I can think whatever I want, okay? Haha)

And there were two other kiddos who I want to talk about. One, A*** (I have to hide the name because my year 6 pupils read my blog), was too adorable. He was not handsome or anything cute, but his laugh and smile really break my bad day. Just now, we were discussing over the name of our group. They chose VIP and wrote down as Very Important Playboy without my consent. Upon seeing this, the GB called the Head Prefect who is the group leader, and asked whether or not he understood the meaning. And yes, surely they were scolded and needed to change the group name. (Oh how should I confront GB and fix this bad image which surely carved on my face!!). and A*** said,

“what makes it wrong?” Playboy, is like you play shuffle, you play football, netball, handball, volleyball, dance, sing and everything. We all do play, right?

And I was like….

Guffaw!! Over this. Seriously, when he said that in Malay, and with his innocent look and wonder-looking eyes, it made my heart giggles. I laugh that I could not let out a cry but only tears and saliva. Hahaha.. it made me laugh till my stomach ached.

And he smiled when he saw me laughing soundless over his opinion. Then, he also started to laugh, following me, of course.

Another 12 year old kiddo who gets my attention is the one with the look but not the manner. He played bad boy and most teachers love-hate him. His words are even sharper than the blade of a razor, and often hurt everybody’s feeling, including me. His disrespectful, despite his good performance in sports and quite near average for academic, was a proof of a shallow minded adult who allow such behaviour to grow in the kiddo in the first place. The words he uttered were very humiliating, saying I am fat, big and eat so much food. Who wanted to hear something worst about themselves? His jokes did not serve right. It was a cynical rather than joke. I am still finding out a way to tell this kiddo, that it is not good to say bad things to people especially of who they are. Whatever it is kiddo Z***, grow up as you should. Your voice has changed but still not your attitude. Sadis!